


Shorts

by yeaka



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: M/M, Vignette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-18
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2021-02-08 07:23:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21472228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yeaka/pseuds/yeaka
Summary: They need to beam down to a particularly wet planet.
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Spock
Comments: 34
Kudos: 158





	Shorts

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don’t own Star Trek or any of its contents, and I’m not making any money off this.

Bones is already on the transporter pad, medical tricorder at his hip just in case, and Scotty’s already behind the transporter console, both standing at attention. Fresh from the bridge, Jim and Spock take their positions. Scotty’s hand lifts over the controls, ready to send them down, but Jim’s communicator interrupts them. He lifts his hand to signal a stop—Scotty halts his progress, Spock and Bones glancing curiously over. 

Jim whips his communicator out and checks, “Yes?”

_“Sorry, Captain,”_ Uhura’s soothing voice cuts in. _“The Mrennenimians just contacted us with a last minute question.”_

In Jim’s peripherals, he can see Spock lifting a brow. Thus far, the aliens below have proven somewhat scatterbrained by Federation standards, and this breech of protocol is just further proof of their uniqueness. Jim tells his communications officer, “Let’s hear it, Lieutenant.”

There’s a quickly muffled noise on the other side that might be Chekov laughing. Uhura’s voice wavers, but she continues in a forced calm: _“They’d like to know if you’ve removed your pants, Captain.”_

From behind Jim, Bones mutters, “What the...” Scotty’s barely stifling his surprise. Spock’s brow knits, and Jim pauses.

“Excuse me, Lieutenant?”

Chekov is definitely laughing. Sulu might be too. Jim can’t even fully blame them. Uhura impressively ignores them. _“They say the surface of Mrennenimus Prime is covered entirely in waist-high water. Their sanctioned beam-down site is in a courtyard outside, where you’ll have to wade through this water to reach the parliamentary building. Apparently, they’ve just now finished going through the Federation records we sent down, and they consider our concept of ‘pants’ to be unfit for their planet.”_ Someone mutters something behind her, and she adds, _“Underwear is okay.”_ Chekov’s roaring.

If Jim didn’t know better, he’d think his bridge crew was playing a trick on him. But he has the best crew in the fleet, and they’d never do that. The truly bizarre thing is that even if this information is accurate, it won’t be the craziest thing they’ve ever dealt with. He has no choice but to tell Uhura, “Thank you, Lieutenant.”

She gets out, _“Good luck, Sir,”_ before finally breaking down, but the channel closes before her chuckles can get very far. 

Jim goes to stuff his communicator back into the back pocket of his pants, only to realize that’s no longer a viable option. He keeps it in one hand as he picks up his feet to pull off his boots, telling the rest of his landing party, “You heard her, gentleman.”

“Captain—” Spock starts, right as Bones is spluttering, “Jim—!”

Scotty’s deliberately looking down, grin tight. While Jim shuffles out of his pants, he insists, “Pants off; that’s an order.”

His own black uniform pants hit the ground. He kicks them unceremoniously off the platform, then thinks to add his socks. He’s left in a pair of gold boxers that will hopefully hold up better than a white pair would. When he turns back to his party, they’re both still fully dressed. Spock’s gaze quickly averts to Jim’s face, but Jim caught how low it dipped. 

Bones grunts, “You’ve got to be kidding.”

Jim’s already ruled that out. Spock stiffly says, “I prefer to get them wet.”

Normally, Jim’s all for Spock volunteering to get wet. But when it comes to trade negotiations with a new species right on the verge of prime Klingon space, he can’t take the chance. He decides, “I’m sorry, but we can’t risk offending the Mrennenimians. Pants off, both of you.”

Spock’s cheeks are faintly tinged green. Jim loves when that happens, but usually under more private circumstances. Spock quietly says, “I believe that would be unwise, Captain.” He glances suddenly at Bones, then Scotty, then back to Jim, and through their ever-present bond lingering from one too many mind melds, Jim slowly realizes what Spock’s getting at. They spent last night together. He’s wearing _Jim’s_ underwear.

But Bones and Scotty won’t know that. Surely they’ll have no way of knowing that normal Vulcans never wear Earth-style boxers under any circumstances, save when their partner’s ruined their briefs and they have no other options. Still, Jim can see how deeply uncomfortable Spock is, and as much as he’d like his science officer with him, he decides they can do with an engineer instead. He says, “Alright, Spock can stay. Scotty, come on over.”

“No can do, Captain,” Scotty answers, and before Jim can ask why, he fills in, “I only go commando.”

Spock looks confused. Nobody explains it to him. Bones grumbles, “Well, I’m not stripping if pointy doesn’t have to.”

Jim sighs. Sometimes it feels like he’s leading a bunch of children. Knowing full well they’ll protest, he announces, “Fine. I’ll beam down alone.”

“Jim, you can’t—”

“Captain, it would be extremely unwise—”

“Then drop your drawers and join me.” It feels significantly less menacing to put his hands on his hips when he’s naked from the waist down, but Jim does it anyway. Bones wrinkles his nose, but Spock, slowly, stiffly, unfastens his fly. Jim tries not to watch with as much interest as he usually does.

By the time Spock has his pants around his ankles, Bones is begrudgingly following. Jim gives them an approving nod when they’re both standing up again in just their underwear. 

Then Bones glances at the bright golden boxers Spock is wearing, the exact same kind that Jim’s in, and he starts to mutter, “Wait a minute—”

But Jim snaps, “Energize,” and Scotty, snickering, does.


End file.
